You are so right about the label of superwoman. It's so unhelpful and puts added pressure on the person to keep up the illusion that everything is perfect. I also get frustrated with the label when it's given as something to aspire to. I would much rather have a bit more help and time to myself then trying to juggle everything badly. There are some interesting articles around also about the mental load mum's often carry that is unseen like the organising of childcare, meal planning, gift planning, family communications. I find it's these things that stress me out the most.
So true, a consequence of the 90’s image of ‘having it all’ such an eye roll. You can have it all, but at what cost? Great to hear the inside perspective from someone as you say is seemingly got it all together. Keep going. My motto is ‘what are the non-negotiables’ and everything else can slide
Hurray for Libby Day! I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on this. Ten months in and I'm only now starting to feel okay with asking for and accepting help from family and friends.
I've found the Todoist app really helpful (for work but also parenting) – every time I think of something I need to do I write it down and it helps me clear my head (I'm sure a little notebook would work just as well!)
This is so true. Alongside the expectation that all parents of children and young people with disabilities are also Super Heros, this puts so much pressure on individuals. Good for you for making this point.
I related to so much of this. I feel like the last two years have been a major lesson in burnout for me -- between full time child care, studying, doing freelance work and volunteering. I spent way too many evenings awake past midnight. It was only after the third or fourth burnout that I finally accepted my limitations. I feel I have no choice because trying to be super woman was seriously impacting on my mental health and by relationships with my husband and daughter. No amount of academic or career success (as much as I enjoy my work) is worth sacrificing those things for me. Getting my daughter in daycare two days a week (we also faced massive waitlists but it got a lot easier once she turned two) has made a huge difference. But I still have to fiercely protect my time.
Think I’ve probably said that to other women too and I’ve certainly had people say they don’t know how I do all I do. My answer to that is by not thinking about everything I have to. If I stop and think about it I get overwhelmed. I know it’s not the best strategy and I know in the long run I could suffer because of this, but I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t know what to do if I do get time to myself. It feels frivolous to not kick back and not be busy, but I’m trying to do it.
Night Music by Jojo Moyes is fab! I read it over a weekend last year.
You are so right about the label of superwoman. It's so unhelpful and puts added pressure on the person to keep up the illusion that everything is perfect. I also get frustrated with the label when it's given as something to aspire to. I would much rather have a bit more help and time to myself then trying to juggle everything badly. There are some interesting articles around also about the mental load mum's often carry that is unseen like the organising of childcare, meal planning, gift planning, family communications. I find it's these things that stress me out the most.
"The stuff that needed to get done has pretty much been done" could be the mantra of my past 9 months with a baby.
Maybe that should be emblazoned on the leotard rather than the big red and gold 'S' 🤔
So true, a consequence of the 90’s image of ‘having it all’ such an eye roll. You can have it all, but at what cost? Great to hear the inside perspective from someone as you say is seemingly got it all together. Keep going. My motto is ‘what are the non-negotiables’ and everything else can slide
Hurray for Libby Day! I really enjoyed hearing your thoughts on this. Ten months in and I'm only now starting to feel okay with asking for and accepting help from family and friends.
I've found the Todoist app really helpful (for work but also parenting) – every time I think of something I need to do I write it down and it helps me clear my head (I'm sure a little notebook would work just as well!)
This is so true. Alongside the expectation that all parents of children and young people with disabilities are also Super Heros, this puts so much pressure on individuals. Good for you for making this point.
I related to so much of this. I feel like the last two years have been a major lesson in burnout for me -- between full time child care, studying, doing freelance work and volunteering. I spent way too many evenings awake past midnight. It was only after the third or fourth burnout that I finally accepted my limitations. I feel I have no choice because trying to be super woman was seriously impacting on my mental health and by relationships with my husband and daughter. No amount of academic or career success (as much as I enjoy my work) is worth sacrificing those things for me. Getting my daughter in daycare two days a week (we also faced massive waitlists but it got a lot easier once she turned two) has made a huge difference. But I still have to fiercely protect my time.
Think I’ve probably said that to other women too and I’ve certainly had people say they don’t know how I do all I do. My answer to that is by not thinking about everything I have to. If I stop and think about it I get overwhelmed. I know it’s not the best strategy and I know in the long run I could suffer because of this, but I’ve been doing it for so long that I don’t know what to do if I do get time to myself. It feels frivolous to not kick back and not be busy, but I’m trying to do it.
Night Music by Jojo Moyes is fab! I read it over a weekend last year.
X