It's not just you who sometimes doesn't want to make smalltalk... I feel this a lot. Actually, I sometimes wonder if this is a specific introvert-mother problem. Those low-level interactions can add to the exhaustion, I think. I also wonder if naturally introverted people struggle more with the loss of time to yourself? Not in the bubble-baths and lie-ins luxury sense of time to yourself, just that basic level of needing to not be talked to/touched/on display. I once saw another mother at softplay who was reading a book at a table on her own while her child played - and I genuinely considered asking if she'd be my mum-friend, on the understanding we could just sit there and read together in silence....
Yes to all of these! I just finish some PP therapy and point 15 is resonating with me right now.
I would also add - currently in the context of the childcare jigsaw that we're playing with at the moment - that if you're lucky enough to be raising a child with another person, that it's ok to say "I need you to share the mental load of this with me". It felt like the stress of finding nurseries and childminders was all on me, even though it would benefit both of us, but it's been helpful to convince my other half to see it as a team effort. Applies to everything shared in life, of course, but it can so often seem like the responsibility of anything child related is on the shoulders of the mother, not the parents.
Ah I recognise so many of these from when I had my son. It is such a steep learning curve, and impossible to prepare for. Now I'm over 7 years into parenting, and I still feel pretty unprepared, but do feel a world away from needing to carry a spare outfit with me or buying wipes in bulk. Reading this has made me think about how far I've come. I bet you'll do the same when you read back on it a few years from now x
My little girl turns 1 in a couple of weeks and I couldn't relate to this post more! Last night I just cried because I was so tired 😫 her sleep has become so sporadic and I just felt like I couldn't do anything right. Reading this has helped me so much. Its so important for us mummies to stick together and share our experiences! Thank you Libby!
My oldest son is 25 and I can still relate to your thoughts on that first year. If it is any consolation to you, my experience has been that the first 20 years are the hardest!! Haha. A friend once said that to me and I didn't quite believe it... but it's true. However, fear not, I have found that there are several fairly easy years within those first 20. Playground were my saviour... and I loved ALL the small talk, I did feel very isolated at home. We are all different, of course, and so are all the babies... hooray for that and for us all finding our feet with every new age and stage, one day at a time.
It's not just you who sometimes doesn't want to make smalltalk... I feel this a lot. Actually, I sometimes wonder if this is a specific introvert-mother problem. Those low-level interactions can add to the exhaustion, I think. I also wonder if naturally introverted people struggle more with the loss of time to yourself? Not in the bubble-baths and lie-ins luxury sense of time to yourself, just that basic level of needing to not be talked to/touched/on display. I once saw another mother at softplay who was reading a book at a table on her own while her child played - and I genuinely considered asking if she'd be my mum-friend, on the understanding we could just sit there and read together in silence....
Yes to all of these! I just finish some PP therapy and point 15 is resonating with me right now.
I would also add - currently in the context of the childcare jigsaw that we're playing with at the moment - that if you're lucky enough to be raising a child with another person, that it's ok to say "I need you to share the mental load of this with me". It felt like the stress of finding nurseries and childminders was all on me, even though it would benefit both of us, but it's been helpful to convince my other half to see it as a team effort. Applies to everything shared in life, of course, but it can so often seem like the responsibility of anything child related is on the shoulders of the mother, not the parents.
Ah I recognise so many of these from when I had my son. It is such a steep learning curve, and impossible to prepare for. Now I'm over 7 years into parenting, and I still feel pretty unprepared, but do feel a world away from needing to carry a spare outfit with me or buying wipes in bulk. Reading this has made me think about how far I've come. I bet you'll do the same when you read back on it a few years from now x
" But the truth is the perfect mother doesn’t exist. There’s just being the best you can be for your specific child.
You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be theirs. And that? That I’m pretty great at."
is such a great quote, and so, so true xx
I relate to so many of these and yes, I often get a sinking feeling when another parent starts trying to strike up a conversation at the park!
My little girl turns 1 in a couple of weeks and I couldn't relate to this post more! Last night I just cried because I was so tired 😫 her sleep has become so sporadic and I just felt like I couldn't do anything right. Reading this has helped me so much. Its so important for us mummies to stick together and share our experiences! Thank you Libby!
My oldest son is 25 and I can still relate to your thoughts on that first year. If it is any consolation to you, my experience has been that the first 20 years are the hardest!! Haha. A friend once said that to me and I didn't quite believe it... but it's true. However, fear not, I have found that there are several fairly easy years within those first 20. Playground were my saviour... and I loved ALL the small talk, I did feel very isolated at home. We are all different, of course, and so are all the babies... hooray for that and for us all finding our feet with every new age and stage, one day at a time.