What it feels like to hit a big writing deadline
And what I'm up to next
Right now my body is full of a messy mix of emotions: euphoria, relief, exhaustion, fear… This can only mean one thing: I just hit ‘send’ on my latest round of edits to my next novel, The Lifeline.
For a long time, I wasn’t sure if I would make the deadline. This round of edits has required pretty much a full rewrite. And it has also coincided with my son deciding he hates sleeping. Sleep deprivation + a big creative deadline does not equal a wonderful time. But I did it.
Whenever I hit a big deadline I never know whether to pop open the champagne or go to bed and have a little cry. Or just crack on with all the things I’ve been putting off in my focus to get my work done. I’d like to celebrate but also, I need to have a shower and go for a run and put a wash on.
When I’m in ‘deadline mode’ everything else falls away from my life. There’s been no time over these past few weeks for socialising and so now I feel like I’m resurfacing from being underwater, popping my head up and saying, ‘hey!’. I want to message my friends and squeeze my son and go outside and stand in the sunshine.
I have the absolute best job in the world but as I’m sure anyone else whose work involves big deadlines will know, this cycle of intense work followed by a sudden reprieve can feel a little disorientating. For weeks I’ve been working solidly - getting up early and often writing late into the evening. I even took myself off on a little solo writing retreat to get some space to focus away from my adorable but very distracting toddler. It was wonderful but also really, really hard work. I wrote 30,000 words in three days (for context, my finished current draft is around 90,000 words long).
But now that I’ve hit my deadline and handed my book over to my editor there comes a quiet period while I wait for the next round of feedback.
There are always other bits of work to be doing in those quiet periods because an author’s job isn’t just writing. There’s admin, social media, events, the coaching work that I now do part-time. But after having been so focused and busy it’s a stark contrast to have this sudden period of relative quiet (I mean, are things ever truly quiet when you’re a parent?).
I’m making the most of this period by soaking up time with my family. We’re off to Cornwall at the weekend, a trip I booked to coincide with finishing my deadline. For anyone facing an intense time at work, I think having things booked in to look forward to can provide brilliant motivation. The thought of our trip certainly helped me focus when I was struggling with a particular chapter or just feeling I might be running out of steam.
Hitting this deadline feels like a big moment, the culmination of an intense period of work being over. But at the same time, it also comes with anxiety. What if what I’ve written isn’t any good? Self-doubt is unfortunately a huge part of any creative career and I’ve spoken to enough authors to learn it’s something that doesn’t go away, no matter how many novels you’ve written.
What I can say is that I’ve poured a lot of heart into this book and that there are some scenes in it that are my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s a book full of big feelings and strong women. Oh, and swimming.
(Interested? The Lifeline, my follow up to The Lido is available to pre-order now!)
Now, off to celebrate this ‘the end’ which isn’t really an ending. The editing process is long and a book is never really finished finished until it’s on its way to the printer. But I’m a big believer in marking the milestones along the way. And today felt like a big one.
Book news and events
I just joined TikTok! Come and find me there where I’ll be sharing book reviews and writing tips.
On 5th June at 6:30 pm, I will be doing a free online event with Havering Library to talk about my latest novel The Vintage Shop of Second Chances. To come along, email Libraryevents@Havering.gov.uk
And on the 8th June at 7 pm I’ll be in Sturminster Newton, as part of the Sturminster Newton Literary Festival doing an event that will be followed by a vintage fashion show.
Congrats on hitting your deadline! I bet that’s a huge sense of relief. Hopefully you can catch up on some much needed sleep now too.
I reached a big deadline a couple of months ago and I expected the almost immediate arrival of relief or a wave of pride, instead I experienced an empty exhaustion as my adrenalin retreated.
The mode I'd been in towards the deadline was one of pushing play to the side in favour of dedicated attention to the deadline. This took a great deal of energy as my natural inclination is to follow where the day's energy and attention takes me, seeking out some fun and joy amongst what's required of me. Instead, I had to firmly follow templates and frameworks towards destinations known.
Post-deadline, the space opened up for being lost in some carefree and expectation-free creativity. If I could wish you anything in this window between your book drafts, it would be a chance to celebrate your achievement and some playful freedom from the to do list for a while!