New year, same me
No New Year's resolutions, but lots to look forward to in 2023
Happy New Year!
I meant to send this newsletter on the first of January, but it’s pretty fitting that I’m only getting round to it now given the fact I want to talk about why, in 2023, I’m taking the pressure off myself to set any goals.
In the past I have been a big fan of goal-setting and resolutions, particularly at the start of a year. I used to write long lists of things I wanted to achieve and have definitely been known to fall into the cliché of spending far too much on new exercise gear in January that then ends up at the bottom of my wardrobe by February.
The goals were supposed to motivate me but looking back, I think what they mostly did was make me constantly feel as though I was reaching for the next thing instead of enjoying all the normal loveliness of life and small wins along the way.
If, at the end of the year, I hadn’t ticked everything off my list I felt guilty and disappointed, regardless of how many things I had achieved or how much I had enjoyed those 365 days.
As a working mother / adult human trying to navigate this crazy thing called life, frankly I already have a lot on my plate. Maybe this year I actually don’t need a list of other things to do and achieve and worry about. Perhaps it’s OK to just keep on carrying this load, or even, hurrah, drop some things. If I were to set a 2023 goal (which I’m not) it would be to achieve a better childcare balance with my husband to give myself a bit more time to breathe (we’re working on it).
That’s not to say I’m throwing away ambition all together. I have always been ambitious and have big dreams for my books reaching more readers and being the best they can be. But recently I’ve realised that for a lot of my life my ambition has got in the way of me living in the moment.
When you are always chasing something, you can end up running too fast to really notice what’s going on around you.
When I think about success now, I try to think about it within the context of my everyday life. What things are actually going to improve my day-to-day wellbeing? Is winning an award really going to make me happier on a random rainy Wednesday a month later, for example?
Instead of big, specific goals I would prefer to think about my overall life and the kinds of activities and people I want to include in it this year that are most likely to make me feel happy and fulfilled.
It’s an approach I apply to book writing too. I imagine that a lot of people might have set ‘write a novel’ as one of their 2023 goals but I think that in order to actually achieve that you can’t lose sight of why you wanted to make that goal in the first place, which I hope for pretty much every writer would be because you love to write.
Instead of making your goal ‘write a novel’, I’d suggest ‘do a little bit of writing every day’.
If you love to write, fitting a little bit into your day will hopefully feel enjoyable. Hopefully you will feel overall happier because you’re finding time for an activity you enjoy. And if you do that, as a great bonus you will probably find you’ve written a book by the end of the year.
I also think we often underrate the concept of contentment. That it’s OK (wonderful, actually) to just be content rather than always looking for ways you could improve.
A friend recently asked me what my aims were for the next five years, which in the past was a very normal question for us as we used to relish long, intense discussions about our plans and aspirations. I felt a little embarrassed replying that I didn’t really have any. Not because there weren’t things I could have thought of (books turned into blockbuster films, picked up by Reese Witherspoon’s book club, bestseller lists…) but because when it really comes down to it I am pretty happy with my life as it is. It’s not perfect, no life is, but it’s got some pretty great people in it and I do a job that I love.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I am content with being content.
So here’s to 2023, and a hope that it brings you contentment.
Book news!
If you are looking for a cheering read to start your year and haven’t read my novel The Island Home yet, then now is a great time to take a visit to the Isle of Kip as the e-edition is currently on sale for just 99p! Expect one windswept island with a warm community at its heart.
It’s getting very close now to the launch of my new novel, The Vintage Shop of Second Chances and I am very excited to introduce you to my hometown of Frome, the setting for this book, and to the main characters Lou, Donna and Maggy. If you’d like to find out more about this book then I loved this recent blogger review, particularly for how it captures exactly how I want readers to feel when they read my books: ‘I spent the whole thing with a smile on my face, even if tears were streaming down at the same time’. I try never to shy away from the hard bits of life, because that, too, is life, but my main aim is to leave you feeling brighter, warmer and uplifted. Some very wonderful authors have also shared some extremely kind quotes about the book…
What I’m reading…
I finished 2022 with a wonderfully cosy and charming book, Snowed in for Christmas by Sarah Morgan, which I highly recommend adding to your list for next year’s Christmas reading (or to read now if you don’t feel quite ready to let go of the festive vibes).
And 2023 has started with a real bang as after having it on my TBR for ages I finally got round to reading You Made a Fool out of Death With your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi and absolutely loved it. It is such a romantic, sexy and beautifully-written novel and I completely devoured it in a day and a half. If you’re a fan of romance or just want a great pacey read and haven’t read it yet, then I would highly recommend this one. I’m now reading Yinka, Where is Your Husband, another great romance, this time a rom com that has already had me laughing out loud.
As ever, thanks so much for being here and looking forward to sharing more with you in 2023.
Great to hear from you, Libby and I hope the contentment continues. A great post.