My latest novel The Vintage Shop of Second Chances is all about new beginnings. While writing it I went through my own, leaving London after ten years and returning to the South West where I grew up. I moved to Frome, the small Somerset town that is also the setting for this novel. During the two years I’ve been here I’ve learnt some things about how to settle into a new place. Whether you’re facing a move or have just relocated due to work, family or simply for a change, here are my tips on how to find your feet.
Connect via social media
One of my now closest friends is someone who I met through social media when I first moved to Frome. I’d done a post tagging my local bookshop which they shared via their channels. This friend saw the post and the fact I was new to the town, was also a writer and also had a small child. She reached out to say hi and ask if I fancied going for a coffee, explaining that she had also just moved to the area and was looking to connect with people.
We met up, instantly connected and have been friends ever since.
I find that following someone on social media makes me feel more confident approaching them in real life. I’ve done the same thing with local businesses – following them and having a few social media interactions (commenting on their posts etc) which built up enough of a rapport for me to feel confident introducing myself in person next time I was visiting. In fact, this is exactly how I befriended the staff at my former local café back in London, an experience that helped inspire my novel The 24-Hour Café.
Befriend your local shopkeepers
One of the first things I did when I moved to my new town was to visit my local independent bookshop.
Bookshops don’t just sell books, they bring book lovers together and somehow seem to know everyone.
The manager at my local bookshop was brilliant at connecting me with local people and has since become a great friend too. Local shopkeepers, especially indie ones, will have their finger on the pulse of what’s going on in your area. And by visiting and supporting your local indies you may well end up making friends there too. Becoming a regular somewhere is a great way to meet people and feel part of a community.
Check out local noticeboards
Whenever I visit somewhere new one of my favourite things to do is to have a good nosey at the flyers attached to the community noticeboards that you often found around town or in local cafes, supermarkets and libraries. They give you such a flavour of a place and everything that’s happening.
Read your local paper
If you have a local paper or magazine in your new town or city make sure to have a proper flick through. They are brilliant resources for finding out what’s happening near you and often include details of local groups and clubs.
Join some groups
My local bookshop and library both run a book club. There’s also a monthly stitch club in my town that I haven’t managed to get to yet but plan to try soon; I’m not even very good at sewing but it sounds like a friendly bunch and an informal way to meet new people. And my friend who lives in a nearby village recently joined her local WI and is trying to persuade me to join too. She’s made a great bunch of friends and has particularly enjoyed the opportunities to try new things like various arts and crafts activities.
Then there are virtual groups too. I’ve found my town’s Facebook group to be a great source of practical information as well updates about upcoming events and a way to generally feel part of my new community. Then there are more specific groups like the one I joined for local parents. If you’re new to an area why not put a post on a local group seeing if any other newbies are also looking to connect.
If you have a particular interest, chances are other people near you will share that hobby too and you might be able to find them via a Facebook group.
I’ve joined various local wild swimming groups and met people that way too!
Introduce yourself to your neighbours
This is something I never really did whenever I moved to a new flat in London but I wish I had. I love the fact that I know all my neighbours on my street now – it makes me feel settled and secure. It’s great to have a friendly chat when we bump into each other.
Invite friends to visit
Although I am now very happy in my new town, I do miss my old friends back in London where I used to live. Having them come to visit always gives me a well-needed boost but actually helps make me feel more settled here too. I love showing off my new town to my old friends. Seeing it through their eyes makes me feel really proud to live here and has helped me feel happy and settled with this new start.
What I’m reading
I devoured Really Good, Actually by Monica Heisey over the course of one weekend. Telling the story of a young divorced woman it is darkly funny, with a truly memorable voice that really hooks you. I’ve heard this book is a bit of a Marmite one with some people abandoning it part way through. I loved it, but would be intrigued to hear what you think if you’ve read it.
Next up I think I’m going to dive into Between Us, a proof copy of Mhairi McFarlane’s next novel that comes out in April.
Book events
A reminder of some of the book events I have coming up soon:
28th March, 7pm, a free online event with Dorset Libraries.
29th March, 7pm, a Facebook Live with The French Bedroom Company’s online book club. You can join the book club here.
13th May, 12:30pm, Walcot House, Bath as part of The Bath Festival. I’ll be in conversation with Lauren Bravo whose debut novel Preloved is set in a charity shop. We’ll be talking about our books and our shared love of all things secondhand!
8th June, 7pm, Sturminster Newton, as part of the Sturminster Newton Literary Festival. There will also be prosecco and a vintage fashion show!
I listened to really good actually on bbc sounds and really enjoyed it!
Really liked this - when I moved to London four years ago I realised I actually had to make friends as an adult for the first time without an obvious leg up like university. I use things like Meetup but you've made me determined to find a copy of my local paper!